Some days things happen in your life that make you doubt everything you do, why you do it and prompt you to question whether or not you should keep doing it. It seems insane to keep doing something that brings such stress and sadness into your life. Its' like some relationships - more often than not you find yourself not liking the other person, you're upset with them, there's not much they do right in your eyes and yet you keep the relationship going. You know you should part ways - but you hang in there, hoping against all hope that things will improve. Oh, sometimes things are good, you have some laughs, some tender moments... and that's what gives you hope. But in the end, when the other person is treating you with disregard and more often than not - not thinking of you at all, it can just gets too much.
These are the days that test your faith, determine your fortitude and force you to re-examine your motives and all that you stand for. Am I partly to blame? Is this what I expected? Can I change this outcome? If I can, do I want to change it?
If you can get through a sad day, the next might not be so bad. Or maybe it will. The question is, do you wait around to find out? Or do you just made the decision and end it?
These days are stressful, depriving you of sleep and shorting out the zip in your zap.
And yet, thank God for these days for they are often the ones that inspire the writer's thoughts to flow forth onto the page, unblocking the months long traffick jam of words on the mental landscape.
And then you feel better... well, a little bit, anyway.
And no, this isn't about my marriage.
Some days, like today, I just need.....
grace.... kathie
Never really told you hon. But, always love your writing. You have such a gift in expressing yourself that people feel what your feeling and can easly relate to it.
ReplyDeleteI always love you and will always continue too! Don't ever stop writing. It God's gift to you!
Ed, your friend and partner!